I am so amazed at how many people have read my writings since I have been recovering...
Thank you...!
It means so much to me, and you, my readers, are finding posts that I made in the past, that I didn't even recall, that I had posted them...
If you had any idea how this makes me feel...in a word, AMAZING!!! ššš
Well, I was taken aback, when I checked my stats, after being away for so long, that I deterred from the title...
So, now stirring back...
Many of your know, or perhaps do not, that I have what is called, Traumatic Brain Injury, and I also, have what is called retractable epilepsy...
Retractable epilepsy, basically means, that I do not have seizure control, even with the taking of medications...
And, due to this, I fall a lot, and I also, hit my head a lot, as well...just about the time that I am recovering, I seem to fall again...
So, hence, the Traumatic Brain Injury...
My brain, due to the damage from the falls, is atrophying, it is shrinking...
Every single hormone produced in my brain are in haywire, as are my neurons...
I have spent oh, I don't know, the last, ten years of my existence, living with this pattern in my life...
And, with every fall, I lose a bit more of what I was capable of doing...
To get back up, from a fall, gets a bit harder and harder each time...
But even through the darkest of moments, of the healing process, I somehow, find a way, to get back up and just keep going...the very best that I can...
This last fall happened at the beginning of August, 2020, I was in my yard, looking up at the stars...
And, tripped, when I came to the cement part, my patio...It was pretty darn cold, and I hit hard...
Though the mercy of the heavens, my neighbor heard my scream and crying...I could not get myself up...
She literally, climbed over the brick wall, that stands between our yards, incredible!
The remainder of the family come over, and they checked me over, and knew that I needed an ambulance...
I really, really, despise going to the hospital, for I have had to do so, far too many times over these years...
I left it in their hands...I had no other choice...
While waiting for the ambulance, I could see the sky...
I could see a massive amount of stars...I could reach them...I could touch them...
I was going into a shock, and also, into, what is called, status epilepticcus...
But I kept my eyes on the stars...those amazing and brilliant stars, that shine every night, in the magnificent sky...
I was unconscious in the ambulance, but it is amazing, what one can feel in a state of unconsciousness...
You know what is happening, but you cannot speak, you cannot respond, even though inside, you are calling out...
You can feel everything that is happening...It is a surreal experience...
I was coming pretty close to death in that ambulance...
But the woman attending me, was incredible, and she kept me alive until I got to the hospital...
After that, I don't remember very much, except that, there must have been, a lot of nurses and doctors, around me, desperately attempting, to get a needle in my veins...
I have very delicate veins, and it is very hard, to encounter a vein, that will allow the needle to penetrate...
This is due, to my hundreds of visits, to emergency rooms and hospital stays, over these ten plus years...
Status epilepticcus is a life threatening condition...this is why the staff was all over me trying to get that needle in...to give me the medication that I needed to keep me alive...
They did...Bravo! They did it...!!!
It was if the Covid didn't even exist...their goal was to save my life...
The time, that I was in this state of animation, I kept seeing the stars...
I truly thought, that I would be, joining them soon...
My star, I felt, was waiting for me...
"From the stars we came and to the stars we must return..." Jack Campbell-Relentless
MAY THIS SONG GUIDE AND BLESS YOU. I LOVE IT, IT IS SO VERY BEAUTIFUL...
