when your world, your heart feels in turmoil...

Tonight, I shall just write. My laptop decided to die on me here in Mexico, so bare with me please as I get to know this I-pad that I bought prior to leaving, better.I did attempt to put in an into pic as I always do, but this silly I-pad, or perhaps it is silly me...it just did not happen, once I figure this out. :)
I had to cry with all of my might tonight, later I knew I would write. I am apartment bound, at least for now until I feel better. Of course, I would rather be out enjoying all of the festivities. Yet, on the other side of the peso, some time alone is what I truly believe I need, at least for the time being.

I cried, yet I also nearly screamed, if I had a balcony I most likely would have, it is better I do not have one for the neighbors would truly think me crazy. So within my walls, my own 300 year old apartment, in the historic district of Guanajuato, Mexico, fierce tears tormented. Why...? For several reasons...

Mainly, for my sons. When I read tonight that we may soon be deploying troops to Syria, I was angered. I still am. Then later after I retuned from my very nearby store, I was hit, no stabbed by an enormous dagger of pain directly to my heart. My oldest would be the one to go off to war first and then my youngest. A mother's heart always, always is a part of her children, no matter what age.

My sons are all I have left in this world that came from inside of me. It hurts my heart so very much that they are away, more than anything else I have ever faced in my life. I want them back as those young boys who brought me so much joy and needed me so. Yet, this is not how life works out. I bore them, I raised them, loved them, and the most difficult part of loving them, was letting them go off to be who they are meant to be.

I just want to hold them and see their most beautiful faces. Yet, I am un able. I must resolve myself to their protection and the vocations they chose. I have my statue of La Virginia de Guadalupe with a candle lit for them, for me; for peace. It brings me great comfort.

Ah, and here come by now, the nightly minstrels, sing with great joy. I soak in this joy every night. Without all of this Alegre, happiness, around me, I am not quite sure how I would feel. Sometimes, I admit, I wonder why I am here in Central Mexico, but it was my wish as well as my mother's. she may not be on this planet any longer, yet she speaks to me and comforts me as well. Tonight this, I needed greatly. Thank you mama.

I may not know as of yet how everything will turn out here in Mexico, but there is a great reason why I am here and all the cards will play themselves out one by one. In this I must have great faith. Faith is what I live on daily and with a Catholic Church here at every corner, I always have my community of faith, prayer, love, and music. What a treasure for me.

Thank you my beautiful readers here at BeamtheLightBetheChange for always allowing me to bare, not only my soul, but all of me, Maria Juarez Beam.

I send great love and joy to each and everyone of you...Paz y amor, Maria...

I am figuring out this I-pad, soooo I do not know how to pst a song as of yet so if you go to YouTube look for "Teach Your Children Well," please...:) All my love and best until I return again...

Miracles Truly Do Happen...

Even in the face of difficult or trying times...

Miracles do happen...

 

As many of you know I have moved to Guanajuato, Mexico at least for a time...

 

My most beloved Mexico has changed in many ways...

 

Yet, at the same time it retains the sense of amazing beauty...and an atmosphere of community and deep faith even with its poverty...

 

Tonight I shall make this post short for I am very tired and I need to arise early and I will return to finish tomorrow...

 

Tonight, I simply wanted to share that even though our world may be in turmoil...times have changed greatly...many are suffering...and we are "suppose" to guard ourselves against those who are out to take advantage of us in various ways...

 

This I can say...is that I believe in the most inner core of all of us is deep goodness...even if it appears that there may be something different...

 

A miracle occurred for me tonight while I was out strolling these lovely streets in Guanajuato...yes, someone attempted to take advantage of my kindness for I think he saw me give some money and a piece of sweet bread to a very poor man in front of the church I attend...

 

He was a young man, very handsome...shared with me his story of why he needed money...I gave him a few pesos...he gave me a prayer book for he knew I was Catholic for he must have been watching me for a time. Here in Mexico, the largest Catholic country in the world, the people make the sign of the cross several times every time they pass a church...I have been doing the same. This very young and handsome man, in Spanish said to me, here is a gift for you, it is a prayer book. I took it graciously...

 

When I arrived at my apartment here I looked at the prayer book gifted to me. It is dedicated to Santa Cruz...Saint of the Holy Cross; a miracle for me, for you see when I was in church the day before on the Feast Day of La Virgen de Guadalupe, the Patroness of Mexico, I met a lovely poor family with two beautiful girls. One of the girls had epilepsy, which many of you who read my writings know that I also have epilepsy. Their faith is so great that they believed that Santa Cruz cured their daughter. Santa Cruz happens to be the Patron Saint of Epilepsy. I never knew of this until they shared this with me. They also shared with me where I could go to get a prayer book of Santa Cruz and told me to say the prayers daily. Here tonight, I was gifted a prayer book of Santa Cruz by this young man asking for money. For me, this is truly a miracle...

 

I shall return to this post tomorrow to clean it up a bit, add a song and some pictures. I now need my sleep. I wanted to share this story with all of you tonight. Despite what appears to be deception, there is also good.

 

I cannot wait to share with all of you my pictures and story about the Feast Day of our Lady of Guadalupe here in my beautiful Guanajuato, Mexico...

 

Blessings, love, and goodness to you all tonight...today. All of my love, Maria

Maria Juarez Boheme Beam