Where to begin I just don't know...
I do know that I am so very tired...
So very tired...
Life has hit one too many punches upon me...
The zest that I once had for life seems to have all, but vanished...
I tried so hard to smile for this picture, but I just could not, even trying, I could not...
The emotion spoke louder than ability to try...
Concussions, surgery, recovery from surgery, epilepsy, lost of strength, the never ending road of seeing doctors...has taken its toll
I feel that I do not even look the same as I did, just a few two short years ago...
My sons are thousands of miles away...thousands...
My heartbreak is immeasurable, but I am always told to "stay strong"
If I had many people around me, to love and support me...I possibly could stay stronger...
It is rather difficult to do this "strong thing" alone...
Especially, if you have had to do it, time, and time again...
Crying tears upon your pillow alone, walking down the streets alone, recalling all those memories alone, is a bit rough upon the soul...
Sometimes, I feel as if I have no fight left within me...none at all
Like tonight...
This is why I write...to all of you
I will not fool myself that this will be an easy comeback, and the tears that I cry for my sons are tears that are of the deepest love, and they will not go away...
But I reminded myself tonight, that I can pull through this, and become that strong Maria once again...
I remember when I broke my foot due to a cycling accident, and by the way, the last cycling accident, for I had had one too many, and the doctor took my bicycle driving licence away from me...(;
Each day with my little foot in a cast I would get up and I would walk one block for about a week...
The next I would walk two blocks...
The next I would walk three blocks...
Until I could walk as many blocks as I could...
That is a great story for me to remember...
So each morning, I shall wake...
I will walk around the block...
The next week it will be two blocks...
The next week it will be three blocks...
Until I will be able to walk as many blocks as I can, and this, is what will build my physical strength...
Physical strength builds heart strength...
Heart strength builds soul strength...
"And soon I'll be walkin' out the dooooor...
"By putting one foot in front of the other..."
Simple, but fantastic words to live by...
So, if you don't mind everyone, I will dedicate this post to myself, for I have fought many a battle, and I keep coming out strong. I know that there will be more to come, but with simple words and simple faith...we can all make it out the door...:)
Great things can be achieved by just the very first step...
I send my love to everyone, and if you too, are experiencing a heavy load, I do hope that my simple words bring you some comfort and love.
My love to all of you
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
Musical Selection: "Maria Maria"
By Carlos Santana feat. The Product G & B
https://youtu.be/nPLV7lGbmT4
ENJOY!!!!!
Remember please, never to take anything in your life for granted. Life is change. What you once had is now gone. What you now have could go away. So love all those around you and if it is you, love you, every ounce. Love life, people and not material pleasures or pleasure that lasts only a moment. Life is to precious...
Remember please, never to take anything in your life for granted. Life is change. What you once had is now gone. What you now have could go away. So love all those around you and if it is you, love you, every ounce. Love life, people and not material pleasures or pleasure that lasts only a moment. Life is to precious...
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