Leaving All the Old Behind and...

...starting anew

This is what I am doing...

I am just about finished going through what is left of my life... behind...

And I simply needed to stop and share...

There is not much left of what I had...mostly the love and memories within my heart...

Yet, what is left, and what I will take with me, still bring me to my knees in tears...

Old birthday cards from my husband Brian passed, telling me how much he loves me and he couldn't ask for better...

How we will be spending the remainder of our lives together...

He is not here...only me...I still yearn for him to be at my side...

I don't know if that feeling will ever go away...if anyone truly knows how much his leaving this planet at the age of 42 has dented and impacted my heart...

Cards and pictures of my sons, grown men now...

Yes, I know that they must lead their own lives, but I never imagined we would be so far apart, it is so painful to have everyone either gone or so far away...

Cards from my mother...I truly miss my mom...if I say much more about her right now, I'm afraid those tears will cascade and I have to get back to my packing...(I shall write about my beloved mother Guadalupe Landeros Juarez Beam in a post just for her)

Cards from friends past, reminding me how much I made a difference in their lives...

Remembering friends and times, my beloved University of the Pacific and Humphreys...

And all of the amazing people who have touched my life these past 51 soon to be 52 years...


If my heart could only explain all of this pain as I pack for my new life...

Setting out in this world...what feels like...alone...

Yet, this is a dream that I have been wanting to fulfill for a very long time...

Right now, it is just so hard to keep the tears from streaming feeling as if...I am leaving everything behind me...

I shall love my beloved Mexico and whatever lies ahead of me in my future...

For now, I must take each day, each step, moment by moment...

And, new life shall begin and shall grow and flourish...

What lies ahead?...well, I will share with all of you along my new path...life is forever evolving and changing...

I thank you so for allowing me to share for this is one way for me to keep carrying on  when I feel so little left...

I thank you for allowing me to express my pain, my grief, my sadness, my anger, whether it be my own personal or pain for the world...

My love to all of you my dearest readers of BeamthelightBetheChange...You keep giving me hope to Beam my light and Beam my love...Muchas gracias con todo de me corazon...Maria

Maria Juarez Beam
Maria Juarez Boheme Beam

Musical Selection: The Fugees: "Killing me Softly"

http://youtu.be/F751YR-U-hA

I chose this song because I feel as if I am hearing the song of my life being sung deep in my heart...

WE ARE ALL GAZA...

You and I...we are Gaza...

We share the blood of the human race...

Yet, at this moment as I write...

Too many tears are steaming down my face...

Too many lives, too many are dying...in Gaza...

I have to write to all of you tonight, although I would love to scream...!

I have too many tears, my life feels torn, my heart feels as if it is dying...

FOR I TOO, AM GAZA...

I hear the screams of the children and the woman...

I hear the men crying for their dead...

I hear the missiles...I hear their dread...

Last night I had such great hopes at the protest I attended in San Francisco, California, USA...

We all, so many of us together, chanted and sang with all of our hearts for the suffering and the destruction in Gaza...

The feeling of being with others, who are as you, gives you a great feeling of elation...

Tonight there is no reason for celebration...

For you see, babies are dying, children are dying, women are dying, men are dying...

Gaza is crying...

And I am crying...

The people of Gaza are strong...

Amongst all this mayhem...

Every morning in Gaza we hear the call to prayer...

This is what binds the people...this is what gives them some solace...that together they all belong...

It is beautifully haunting to hear the prayers as bombs drop...yet the prayers continue...

We are all Gaza...you and I...

Stand with me and cry...

Stand with me and fight...

Stand with me and yell out with all of your might...

WE ARE ALL GAZA...AND WE ARE ALL WITH YOUR PLIGHT...

GAZA YOU ARE NOT ALONE...WE ARE HERE...WE ARE ALL GAZA...

Never give up your fight Gaza...many of us are here with you. Please know that we are watching, feeling helpless, but we are doing all that we can to keep you safe, keep you loved, and keep you within our deepest of hearts. All of my love to you beloved and dearest Gaza...Maria

Maria Juarez Beam...
Maria Juarez Boheme Beam...

 

 

Musical Selection: Maher Zain "Palestine Will Be Free"

 

http://youtu.be/foSbqLi6U10

 

Please send all you love, light, and blessing to Palestine

 

Viva Palestina por siempre...Le amo mucho Palestina, Maria

 

 

UN ANGEL CAYO...

 

AN ANGEL FELL

 

UN ANGEL MURIO...

 

AN ANGEL DIED

 

UN ANGEL SE FUE...

 

AN ANGEL LEFT

 

UN ANGEL YA NO VOLVERIA...

 

AN ANGEL WILL NOT RETURN...

 

I dedicate these lyrics to all the angel childen who have died during the past four days in Gaza.

 

From the song

"CUANDO LOS ANGELES LLORAN" By my most beloved Mana

WHEN THE ANGELS CRY

 

Gracias a Mana y a todos de BeamtheLightBetheChange

PAZ Y AMOR POR SIEMPRE...

 

 

My Beloved Readers...

...of BeamtheLightbetheChange

I wish to share with you tonight at 7:54 pm Pacific Standard Time in California USA that I am returning to my writings. :)

I am feeling the need to return to my passion...my writing...

I am finally weaning off of my crutches and I am actually able to walk sometime without a crutch at all...

This is making a huge difference for me for I am now feeling as if life is returning back to Maria...

I must say it is more difficult than I perceived...

It is truly as learning how to walk once again...

Yet, this gives me great happiness within my heart...Oh, to be on two feet once again...:)

I am beginning by editing my posts from when I first began BeamtheLightBetheChange back in May of this year...

If you happen to see any re-posts this is the reason why...

I felt the need to do some cleaning up, perhaps change a musical selection, and to add more writing to a post if needed...

This is good for me to do for I can see the birth of this blog and where it has taken me to today...

It shall take me some time...but it will get done...

And yes, in the meantime, I shall write about The Zapatistas, Tears of Gaza, and more about the American Indian...

I shall return to my series of peoples around the globe past and present who have been, continue to be, or are in great struggle...

I also, will of course, continue with my poetry...this seems to be my forte..

BeamtheLightBetheChange is an eclectic mix of many things...it is much as I am...quite eclectic... ;)

Rather than delve into that subject tonight, I think I just received an inspiration for a future poem...:)

It's funny, when you begin something, and you feel as if you know exactly how you want it to evolve, and then it seems to take a life of its own...this is most certainly what BeamtheLightbetheChange has been for me...

This of very often how life is...so I simply accept, embrace, and write what I feel within...

I do have great wanting of my writings to beam some light into your lives and with any hope, bring change as well...personally and globally...

Please be well all of my wonderful and delightful readers. You are in my heart and I send much love, joy, light, and peace to each and everyone of you...

All my love,
Maria

Maria Juarez Boheme Beam

I shall explain the added Boheme in a future post (if you take a good look at Beam and Boheme you may be able to see it for yourself, but it is a story dear to my heart that I shall share with you soon.) 

Paz y amor...

Musical Selection: "Labios Compartidos" Mana from their Album Amar Es Combatir...To Love is to Battle

http://youtu.be/U41nba_S3_g


In today's world there is love, but we also must fight for love so that it will become our permanent state of being. Mana just happens to be LO MAXIMO, the ULTIMATE group of my heart...They are from Guadalajara, Mexico...and playing in Guadalajara, Mexico on my birthday on December 7th! And to me, they are just staight up sexy...;)

A Time 4 LOVE...

It is late and I am very tired, yet I felt compelled to write to all of you my beloved readers here at BeamtheLightBetheChange. A great sensation came within me, upon me, and enveloped me...I want to share LOVE TONIGHT...

The elections are now over and we know that Barack Obama will be our President for four more years. Many are working so hard on the East Coast of the United States and in Puerto Rico, the Bahamas, Cuba, and Haiti to help those who have been devastated by Hurricane Sandy. Many are grieving in Guatemala after their horrific earthquake. Still many are suffering greatly in the Middle East from, war, drone strikes, and the taking of land. So many lack food, work, clean water, or descent pay for their hard labor across the globe. 

This is a great time for love...love...love, pure love.
 It is a time to put our selfish needs, wants, thoughts, and desires aside; it is a time to truly take a look at all of those in greater need. Perhaps, see your fellow human in a new light...we have no idea what their circumstance in life could be or had been. Whether they be a "criminal," an immigrant, a person asking for money on the street, a person digging for cans in your recycling bin, someone with sagging pants, or someone talking to themselves on the street...who are we to know, and who are we to judge.

If we could simply fill our hearts with love and send that love out to a person we may otherwise perhaps judge. This is a time for the reaching out of hands, the reaching out of kindness, the reaching out of LOVE. 


This is a simple post tonight, but as I shared, I simply felt compelled. We are all in need of each other at this time, at this moment...can we be there with open arms of pure, tender, and innocent love.


LET US ALL GIVE LOVE A CHANCE...IT WILL ALTER HUMANITY...

All my love as always to all...Maria

Maria Juarez Beam...Paz y amor to all...

Musical Selection: "The Prayer of Saint Francis" John Michael Talbot...Just felt appropriate once again...:)

http://youtu.be/iv9wV9eE5TM

So sorry with this link you have to copy and past into a new tab...usually you are able to simply click on the link and it goes straight to the song...

Thank you so much for your reading my very simple words of my heart...  


"The world is not interested in what we do for a living. What they are interested in is what we have to offer freely--hope, strength, love, and the power to make a difference!" -Sasha Azevedo 



We can all make a difference in every effort whether large or small...always remember this. Love, Maria