So many years now have passed...
Soon the birthday of my youngest will be here...24!
Wow! Still so young, but oh, how he did he have to grow up so fast...
I think a mother can feel in her body the memories of when she carried her children and when the day of their birth is approaching...
I just cannot seem to stop crying...
Remembering him, them so much...
All the wonderful memories we shared together as a family...
The time when my husband died and how we pulled together to get through...
Oh, my sons I hope you know how much I love you...
How hard I tried to be the best mother for you...
Now, you are both so grown up and so far away from me...
And, too many years have passed since I have last seen you...
I know, that you are both doing, what you feel compelled to do for your lives...
But, how, oh how, I miss you so...
The military took you away...
I remember so very well the days that you both told me you were going to join after you finished school...
My heart was broken...but somehow I just knew that would be the path you would both choose...
With a father dying when you were both too young...
You needed men to guide you after you left my care...
It is so ironic, a mother who fights and who fought so hard for peace...
I went to every rally in San Francisco to march against going to war in Afghanistan and Iraq...long before you both would ever become a part of the United States Military...
I went for the world...I went for you...
It is not the fault of our soldiers that we have war...
It is our government...the lust for power, control...
I have it all, so much, in all of my postings so there is no need to carry on tonight...
I just wanted to write to you both and to the world...
How I miss my beautiful sons...
I do write about my sons, but not about their military service...but there is too much pain inside of me and I need to let the world know...
How a mother feels...when she has lost her sons to the military machine and she fights against it...
It is lonely...
It is tragic...
And, we loose all contact with our children because we choose peace...
So as the sun was setting with such beauty...I needed to pour out my pain...
My need to have my children in my life...
My desire for peace for all...
I dedicate this writing to my two beautiful sons and to all who suffer from war, and to all mother's who suffer because of war...
MAY WE HAVE PEACE...
As always, in great peace and love, Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
“There is no greater heaven than the heart of a loving mother
She takes care of you when you are still in her womb.She nurtures you after you are born.
She hurts when you fall,
She celebrates when you make your first steps.
She is the only person who genuinely cares about you.
She loves you as she loves herself.
Her heart your true paradise.
I love you mama.”
― Bangambiki Habyarimana, The Great Pearl of Wisdom
“There is no greater heaven then the heart of a loving mother”
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