When will you remember when I held you so tight...?
When will you remember that I was your light...?
Every night reading you a story...
Every night kissing you both on your cheeks...scratching your brown and blond heads...
Scratching your backs until you both fell asleep...
When will you remember my boys, the so many things, that know one else knows, except for you...
The nights we would collect snails in the backyard, put them in a bucket and gently remove them to munch on the weeds of a big open field...
The nights that we would go out on the streets of San Mateo, in the so-called, "seedy" parts of town to see who was in need...bring them food, cover them with blankets...or to just give them comfort...
When will you remember the night we found a man passed out drunk on the train track downtown, in the dark, no one else cared, yet we did...we moved him...perhaps we saved his life that night...When will you remember...?
All the days on the beach and suntans year round...
Packing up picnics to all the beautiful places that we could find...
Camping, just you and me...under the stars...in the tent that we had pitched...
All that scrap wood we collect so you could build a new structure, at least, two times a day...:)
Scraped knees every week...one, and, then the other...
Angel kisses sent to you by me...when you where not at home...that is why you have so many freckles Preston...for each one, was/is an angel kiss sent by me...
All those days laughing in the car...hotel room service...lego sets...all those history stories...Alexander...
All the days that you could fly...
When will your remember my boys...when will you finally come home to me...?
This emptiness of my children estranged...
It is as a dagger in my heart...
https://www.buzzle.com/images/tattoos/heart-tattoos/red-heart-dagger-tattoo.jpg
When will you take it out God. I'll bleed to death if you leave that dagger within me...I am already bleeding to death...
Who will cry for the little girl who is a grown up woman and a mother in pain...?
Who will cry for this little girl that lives in me...?
Who will cry for that little girl...?
I will cry for me...endless tears...always alone...
When will someone hold me just once in their arms all night long and allow my to cry in their presence all night...?
Yet, then again, I am the one who must be the one to allow these sacred tears to be shed in the arms of another...
Please my sons come home to me...
Please...remember...
I was sent from above to have born you from my womb...
I was sent to love you all your lives long...
I was sent to always be here for you...
I am waiting...but please do not wait too long...
I want to you to see me before I am wrinkly and old...
I want you to see me, as you have never seen me before...
I love you my sons...I love you to the very ends of all the universes that exist...
In the meantime...remember me always...deep within your beautiful hearts...
WOW...I have really surprised myself today...I have really opened up as an endless spout. Yet, I truly feel as if I need to share and not to shed my tears alone. I hope you do not mind...yet, it heals me to share. So, I thank each and everyone of you who will read this...this pain, this dagger that I carry with me, which, hopefully, will be pulled out soon...
Perhaps...by this next...Mother's Day...
http://www.truthnet.org/SpiritSword/Sword_Spirit.jpg
Setting, for once, my heart so free...
https://images.bigcartel.com/product_images/195184708/Heart_2.jpg?auto=format&fit=max&w=2000
I will share with you a song...
"Momma Don't Cry"
And, the trailer from the movie, "Antwone Fisher." This is the movie that started this flow although I shed the tears everyday deep inside.
I thank you again, my readers, for allowing me to share and to cry...
Maria Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)
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