League of Denial (full film) | FRONTLINE

I just finished watching this amazing film by Frontline. It is in regard to the huge problem of the National Football Leagues denial to accept the impact that playing American Football has upon its players. This film even goes into finding of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, CTE, in a player as young as 18 years old.

I am posting this because, this is not just an American Football issue, it is a worldwide issue, for players of any sports that has head and body contact. But, what is often lost, in the news of sports players and concussions, and CTE, is the fact, that even non-athletes, are also at risk for this disease. 

Yes, I was an athlete for many, many years myself, even playing American Football. I was an avid cyclist for most of my life, but had to stop in my late 40´s, because repetitive head trauma was causing me, to have serious falls, while cycling.

The cause of the falls was uncontrolled epilepsy. So, there are also people like myself, who fall so much, that we too are affected by not only Traumatic Brain Injury, but possibly, Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy, as well. 

I love American Football, love it. Yet, also, the most popular sport in the world, Soccer or also called football or fútbol, there are a great number of players who suffer from brain injury. So, this is not just about the National Football Leagues problem and the players family, it is other athletes,  and other peoples whom, as well, are affected greatly from the debilitating diseases and traumas to the brain.

It is good to be aware of any person suffering any form of a brain disorder and to understand their silent pain and their silent sufferings.

With great love to all,

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

Where Does My Destiny Lie...

There was a time when I knew where my destiny was...

What my destiny was...

When a young girl...

My destiny was to be a good daughter...

To be a good student...

To learn right from wrong...

As a young woman...

My destiny was to seek my path of the future...

What would I be, what would I become...?

What is it that I will do to better this world...?

When I became a wife...

My destiny was to be a good and faithful wife...

Loving him until the day he died...

When I became a mother...

My destiny was to nurture and to love my sons...

To hold them when frightened, to comfort and guide them...

To teach them right from wrong...

To become good men upon this earth...

Now all of these times have passed...

I am left with myself...

I thought my destiny would be to live in beauty, tranquility in a beautiful part of the world till the end of my days...

This, now, has taken a sad and lonely turn...for now it shall not be...

I sit here now, crying, feeling broken, feeling that I have lost my path...

So now, where does my destiny lie...?

One needs something to live for, a reason to stay on this planet...

Feeling as if you no longer have purpose...

Well, leaves one feeling so empty, so alone...

A vessel afloat and drifting...

So what is my purpose...where, now, does my destiny lie ...

I have no answer to that question...

My heart feels so scattered, feels a float...

And my soul is bleeding...

What am I to do...where am I to go...?

Dreams shattered in an instant and fragments lie everywhere...

No longer a full piece...

Only the shards of what was hoped to be...

Fragility, vulnerability, the unknown...

Where does my destiny lie...?

Until, I know, I shall sit with this sigh...

The sigh of not knowing, of the unknown, of silence and void...

Breathing each breath until...

Revealed unto me...

Where my destiny lies...

With great peace and love to all,

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

“One love, one heart, one destiny.” 
― Robert Marley

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.” 

― Steve Maraboli

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the Universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.” 
― Andrew Boyd, 

Daily Afflictions: The Agony of Being Connected to Everything in the Universe

“Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey.” 
― John O'Donohue, 

Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom

All quotes courtesy of:

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/destiny

Musical Selection: Queen, "Made in Heaven" (Official Lyric Video)

Queen - Made In Heaven (Official Lyric Video)

Mitch Rossell - A Soldier's Memoir (Official Video)

Another song, I found, to go along with, "The Battle Scars That Hide in the Shadows."

Boz Scaggs - Sierra

The Sierra Nevadas...A Beautiful Gift of Thanks

Thanksgiving has just been celebrated in the United States of America...

I am no longer there...no longer have my family, with it, to share...

Thanksgivings, of my past, were all about family...

Were about the blessings we have been given...

And, the blessing, to come together as family...

I am my family now, yes, I still do have some family, dear cousins...

But, all live their own lives and I mine...

So, yesterday, I shared the time with myself...

Remembering times past, with my family, my parents, my sons, my husband...

All the beautiful joy that we once shared together...

I listened to music to reminice...

One song in particular, caught my heart...

I was singing along with the song, Sierra, by Boz Scaggs...

I was also thinking of how much I loved those mountains, the Sierra Nevadas, of California...

Then, I suddenly began to watch the video...

Seeing the images of these majestic mountains...

Poured forth...tears...

Tears for many reasons...

Tears of remembrance...

Tears of joy...

Tears of sadness...

Tears of thankfulness...

I have been blessed you see...to have been born in California...

Although, I was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area, the Sierras, were a big part of my life...

My father would rent a cabin in the wintertime...

So that we could enjoy all the winter delights...

We would also, go in the summers to camp...

As a young adult, ski trips with friends...

I would even just go all alone...to be with the exquisite silence, the mirror like lakes, and the gorgeous grandeur of the trees...

One of my favorite sounds of the Sierras, was hearing the leaves of the ash trees gently stirring when a breeze came up...

I worked for the Special Olympics and every winter we would take a group of "special" athletes to have our "Winter Games..."

When I began my family...

We took many a trip to the Sierras, to the beauty of the Sierras...

Alas, one day, we bought a house, at the foothills of the mountains...

Every morning that I awoke...I awoke to the splendor and majesty to the sight of...The Sierra Nevadas...

Glorious...each morning was a new and glorious morn...

I would give thanks, no matter, the temperature, on my special bench outside...

My boys and I would pop in the car and take day trips...

Especially, for fresh mountain apples...!

To go swim and play in the icy rivers...

To simply go and enjoy what a gift we had at our door step...

The beautiful gift of the Sierra Nevada Mountains...

I am not certain that I will ever see these mountains again...

But, this I do know...

That they are forever engraved upon my heart and upon my soul...

The memories...the beauty...the splendor...

Thank you my lovely, lovely Sierra Nevadas...

Musical Selection: "Sierra," by Boz Scaggs

Enjoy!!!

All my love, 

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

Flightless Bird, American Mouth Lyrics (HD)

"Flightless Bird"

I am a "flightless bird," longing to soar...

This broken body, this broken brain, and this broken heart...

No longer permit me to soar...

The freedom of a bird, of me, has always, been a part...

Yet, my life's trials, my infirmity, have me grounded, no longer in flight, inside I roar...

I feel, not sorry for myself, I feel only the sadness, of what, the freedom a bird, in flight feels...

 But no longer can do...

Without one´s wings, there is no strength, nor the ability to fly...

It leaves the soul feeling of blue...

And, leaves the heart, a river to cry...

Yet, acceptance must come...

In order for me to be true...

To that part of me, that is so strong, and not leave it to remain numb...

It is a most difficult feat to achieve...

But, achieve it I must...

For, I am far too free, to allow my spirit, to rust..

To keep the hope alive in me...

That this "flightless bird," 

Shall once again be set free...

To soar the skies and to truly be me...

With great love to all,

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." Langton Hughs 

"Take these broken wings and learn to fly." Paul McCartney

"My life has crept so long on a broken wing Through cells of madness, haunts of horror and fear, That I come to be grateful at last for a little thing." Alfred Lord Tennyson

Quotes Courtesy of AZquotes.com

Musical Selection: "Flightless Bird" American Mouth

Homeless Veteran PTSD Song - 'I'M NOT HOME' (Official Lyric Video) SHARE...

To honor all Veterans who return home with visible and especially, the invisible wounds.

With all my peace and love to you all,

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

Mary J. Blige - Each Tear (Italian Version) ft. Tiziano Ferro

I share this song today for all. For all who shed tears, for all who need hope, for all who need strength, for all to know that to shed tears is to make you stronger. Believe in yourself...always!

With great love,

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

Stand Up / Stand N Rock #NoDAPL (Official Video)

I just reposted the remake of the Black Eyed Peas, "Where is the Love," world version. Indigenous Peoples Day recently passed in October, the 12th, which some call Columbus Day. I have posted many writings and videos to reflect my sentiments on the subject and the subject of Indigenous Peoples Day. I am Choctaw and the feel the flow of Indigenous blood in my veins, like a river that flows so strongly, and forever reminding me of my warrior spirit, and the spirits of my ancestors before me. 

The stories, the teachings, the wisdom, and the struggle, are all imprinted upon my DNA, and this is why I fight the fight. I continue the struggle that my ancestors did over 500 years ago. When I speak, it is not only my voice, that speaks. No, oh no dear reader, you are also hearing, the voices of many that have come before me, and have far greater wisdom than I. I am simply their echo, their speaker, their instrument of truth. 

The Standing Rock incident, still continues today. The only most recent article I could find about Standing Rock today, is dated in 2018, last year. But the story began before the 2016 Standing Rock incident and still continues to this day. 

I feel in these veins of mine, that this blood is strong and, as strong as all those who gathered, and who fought the fight at Standing Rock. I feel as if all are inside, of me, and although, I am alone in my fight here, I am not alone. For I have my fellow indigenous brothers and sisters inside of me, I have my ancestors inside of me, I have the wind, the sky, the earth, the moon, and the stars. I have Grandfather Sun, all within me. 

And, we together, my friends, shall spread the truth of truth and the love and love that we have and that it shall return once again to our Blessed Mother Earth.

Chi pisa lachike,

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

Here is a link of the last of what I could find about Standing Rock today.

https://www.npr.org/2018/11/29/671701019/2-years-after-standing-rock-protests-north-dakota-oil-business-is-booming

Even The Rain: OFFICIAL TRAILER

Although, October 12th is what is officially termed "Columbus Day," today it is recognized Federally so it becomes a National Holiday for most workers in the United States. 

Why we even "celebrate" this day is beyond all comprehension to me. Genocide is nothing to celebrate. And, also, Mr. Columbus never, I repeat, NEVER set foot upon Turtle Island soil, what is now the United States. So beyond the madness of celebrating genocide, we also celebrate a man who landed, on an island in the Caribbean, which is now the modern day Dominican Republic and Haiti. 

I post the trailer of the movie, "Even in the Rain," because, it is a film crew from Spain, coming to film the true history of Christoper Columbus, and the annihilation of the Taino peoples who inhabited the island, where he, and his murderous crew landed. He and his mates completely destroyed an entire race of peoples. They no longer exist.

The Spanish film crew went to Bolivia to recruit the cast of the Taino peoples, whom, of course not Taino, but they are indigenous. Their purpose for choosing indigenous Bolivians, was two-fold. One, due to their appearance, and of the accounts of the Taino people, the indigenous of Bolivia came closest in appearance due to these accounts, and two, they knew that they could pay extremely low wages to fulfill their needed cast.

As time, goes by, the Spanish Crew, come to witness with their own eyes, that not much has changed toward the indigenous peoples since the days of Columbus. This was a time, before now, President Evo Morales, (whom he himself is indigenous)  was the president of Bolivia and the indigenous peoples were highly exploited. 

A violent eruption emerges between the then Bolivian Government and their want of privatizing  the water supply and the indigenous, whom are fierce in retaining their rights the access to water.

The film is brilliant, they fulfill their cast, and the leader of the Taino, is also one of the main leaders, of the indigenous who are fighting for their water rights. The film simultaneously is telling the story of exploitation and murder committed by Christopher Columbus as well as, much to their surprise seeing the same story unfolding in front of their eyes in the Streets of La Paz, Bolivia.

It is a movie that I highly, highly recommend.

With great peace and love,

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee Trailer.

This is a famous story, but how many know the true story of "Wounded Knee?" It is a story that breaks the heart and broke the spirits of the Lakota Sioux...

In great sadness and honor of our Original Peoples,

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

Russell Means: Welcome to the American Reservation Prison Camp (Full Len...

I did not realize when I reposted the writing "Life on the Rez," that the video link that I had posted no longer exists. So, I found another Russell Means video to post...and I do this to show the reality of life of the American Indian in the United States and to honor this day of Indigenous Peoples Day.

With great peace,

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

P.S. Russell Means, talks much about the difference in the politics and economies of Europe compared to the United States, this is pre European Union and unfortunately much of what he expressed about how Europe differs for the better than the United States, has been completely been changed by the formation of the European Union.

Russel Means, may he rest in peace. 
November 10th, 1939-October 22nd, 2012

Tribal Winds - Memory Of Earth Mother

I post this beautiful song in on of Indigenous Peoples Day...

Oldest Indian tribe song (beautiful Native American song)

The Golden Rule

This song and video are ever so lovely. Such an amazing and simple thing to do, is to simply live by "The Golden Rule,"

This is not just a Christian rule, it has been a "Golden Rule" amongst humanity of all religions and non-religions, for thousands and thousands of years, before Christianity arrived. 

JUST IMAGINE A WORLD IF EVERYONE LIVE BY THIS BEAUTIFUL "GOLDEN RULE."

WE CAN...WE TRULY CAN...ALL OF US...PUT IT INTO YOUR HEART AND LIVE EACH MOMENT BY THIS SIMPLE AND BEAUTIFUL RULE...IT WILL CHANGE THE WORLD!!!

In peace and love always, 

Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)

The Beats - All You Need Is Love (Subtitulada)

Crystal Blue Persuasion - Tommy James & The Shondells (With Lyrics)

A beautiful song of love, hope, peace, and goodness for all...

War Within (Ptsd Song) Lyrics