As a Writer...I ask Your Forgiveness
My last post "Yankee Go Home and Leave Us Alone," if you had read it before my editing, I made a critical writing error. I had stated that the people of Latin America do not desire their freedom, their sovereignty, and their dignity, of course, this is the farthest from which I wished to convey, the very opposite. I have made it right. Yet, the mistake was made, and if any of you did happen to read this, I do hope you realized it was a serious error and unintentional.
I wish to convey apologies for not being much more specific and historical in my writings; this was always my intention for BeamtheLightBetheChange. Yet, over these past several years, I have had many serious concussions and much epileptic activity and this has impacted my ability to research and to write the very detailed and precise writings that I had been able to do so in the past. This is why I keep my writings simple, yet with passion, and in poetic form, for this seems to be the way that I can keep writing. I do thank you for baring with me, and I do hope that some of my writings do have some impact in hearts, minds, and souls.
This is what I desired to say and share. I thank you for reading. I thank you for understanding. I do plan to continue this piece of "Yankee Go Home and Leave us Alone," and hopefully soon.
I have chosen a musical selection, Maher Zain: "Forgive Me"
It may seem over-apologetic on my part, but I love the music of Maher Zain and I love the sound of this song. There is a part of me very deep inside, that does ask a great forgiveness for the shortcomings of my writing and as a historian. I chose these vocations, for I feel that they are both very powerful, very important, and that therein lies a great responsibility to convey the true truths of history through writing. I know that my brain injuries and that my epilepsy are not of my fault, yet I have chosen to write publicly and so I do hold a great responsibility to write to greatest of my ability and to share my knowledge, and to be sure to edit over and over before I publish. This is why I chose this powerful song. It is just as much for me, as it is for all of you from me.
Forever your friend in peace, love, and solidarity...
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
"Yankee Go Home and Leave Us Alone..."
It amazes me that YOU keep your claws a grip...
Upon Latin America, a peoples who wish not to play...
...with you in your WELL OVER-SIZED sand box...!
Exploitation, first by Europeans...then movin' to a new nation being born upon blood..
Christopher Columbus brought with him the enslaving sugar cane...
The Colonies of the U.S. were exploiting the Caribbeans for slaves, and the makings of rum all of which came in flood...
Spain had already wreaked havoc upon the people and the natural resources...
AND THEN CAME THE YANK...!!!
The Banana Republic, metals, ores, coffee, rubber, oil and on and on and on...
All to fill the Bank of the Yank!!!
Today, the exploitation continues on...
NAFTA, creating poverty, keeping people in poverty...
Elected leaders toppled, coups,CIA WARS, and yes, even assassinations...
Manipulation of elections, sabotage of leaders doing good for the people...
If you knew it all you would, hopefully, be quite upset...
You hear dictators, corruption, violence, immigrants...
But, Latin America is so much more...
The corruption began with colonization...
The people of Latin America are full of love and spirit...
And, they DO desire their right to rule, their right being sovereign...
Their right to dignity...
And, not to continually and ruthlessly, be squashed upon by the entity of El Norte...the North...
I thank you so all of my beloved readers, I have so much more to say and this is just some simple prose that I needed to express for the love that I have for my beloved Latin America
Tomorrow night I shall put up a pictorial of the spirit of the Latin heart...
Musical Selection: "Yanquess Go Home" by Carlos Puebla
https://youtu.be/YlARgyjGpJM
A very good book to read: "Open Veins" Eduardo Galleno
VIVA LATINOAMERICA!!!!
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
http://www.reuters.com/article/us-guatemala-corruption-usa-idUSKCN0SJ0W720151026
The above:
An article of current manipulation and downright bullying by the US in Central America...
"I HAD TO WRITE"
PREFACE TESTIMONY
by Norwegian Doctor Mads Gilbert to his book "Night in Gaza"
"This book is a testimony, not an academic thesis or a neutral journalistic report.
This book is my account of what I witnessed in Gaza in the summer of 2014. It is the story of some of the human cost paid by the Palestinian people for enduring the Israeli occupation. For almost seventy years, they have been living under an increasingly brutal apartheid regime and constant military attacks. Many older Palestinians still remember what happened in 1948 in the Nakba, the Palestinian Catastrophe, when the state of Israel was created on their land. Large parts of the population in what was once Palestine were driven from their homes, towns and villages by armed forces and terror. Most of the Palestinians in
Gaza are refugees in their own country.
Gaza are refugees in their own country.
The elderly generation who remember the Nakba say a part of my life and that the attack this summer was worse than in 1948.
I have been carrying out medical solidarity work for the Palestinians since 1981. It has become a part of my life and a great source of joy, sorrow, inspiration and disappointment. For the the past fifteen years, I have been working in Gaza with the Palestinian health service, making at least one trip a year to teach, organise projects, perform research, learn or carry out actual emergency medical treatment, especially in periods of war. Since 2006, I have witnessed at close hand four attacks by the Israeli military on the population of Gaza. Each time it happens I feel anxiety coming me over me in Norway. I know that I must go..."
..."What I experience was awful, and it was immense. The sounds of bombs and screaming, bodies torn to pieces and a society reduced to rubble, but I also saw camaraderie, dignity, human courage and unflinching resolve.
I had no choice but to write.
The story of the Palestinians is best told by the Palestinians themselves. They rarely appear in the mainstream Western news sources, especially not in the United States, where the well-oiled and loudly voiced official Israeli account dominates, leaving no space for telling about the Palestinians' suffering or for self critical analysis, just the usual claims about 'Palestinian terrorism' and 'Israeli self-defense'.
This is all that I will write of Mads Gilbert TESTIMONY...his words you must read or listen to yourself. I simply wanted to share a part for I find this man beyond incredible and humane...
Oh, one last paragraph...When a pen, a camera, and a stethoscope are seen as security threats, we know we are dealing with a regime that is afraid of the truth and that believes power confers rights,"
Dr. Mads Gilbert-A Night in Gaza
Dr. Gilbert, I do hope that you do not find my writing parts of your book as a way to take your work. I only want to use your work to shed light upon the world as to what you are doing for I find you one of the most noble person upon this earth.. You have much to share and teach to a world that needs to opens its eyes and its hearts. I thank you so very much...
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
Musical Selection: We Are the World...We are Palestinian Children
Musical Selection: We Are the World...We are Palestinian Children
The True Cost of War...Veterans
Others say 1 of 4 homeless are Veterans...
The majority of homeless Veterans are African American or Latino...Many are disabled
I have read that President Obama is funding many programs for our Veterans.
Much of their health care and medications are not paid for by Veterans benefits.
At least 22 Veterans commit suicide daily. I have heard up to forty, but this is the research that I am finding.
At least one active duty Veteran (a soldier or an airman while serving is considered a Veteran) commits suicide every day, although the research I have been doing says that the numbers are decreasing due to the military, all branches, are implementing programs for suicide prevention.The United States sends our soldiers and airmen off to serve as heroes, but when they return, unfortunately, many in this country pay no attention to them any longer. I am not saying everyone, but many.
It is so unfortunate for our men and women who served for they are lost when they return. Many realize the horror and live with it in their minds and their hearts daily. It not only takes a physical wound to be damaged, their are many wounds inside.
A staggering number of our Veterans are suffering from PTSD, post traumatic stress disorder.
Definition
By Mayo Clinic Staff
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition that's triggered by a terrifying event — either experiencing it or witnessing it. Symptoms may include flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety, as well as uncontrollable thoughts about the event.
Many people who go through traumatic events have difficulty adjusting and coping for a while, but they don't have PTSD — with time and good self-care, they usually get better. But if the symptoms get worse or last for months or even years and interfere with your functioning, you may have PTSD.
Getting effective treatment after PTSD symptoms develop can be critical to reduce symptoms and improve function. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder/basics/definition/con-20022540
It literally took a fight of words between researchers and doctors, to convince the higher ups in the military, what a serious problem
PTSD is, and to finally fund programs for Veterans who suffer from the disorder, around a table at the Pentagon.
Now some positives...with the governmental programs there is now hope for those suffering form PTSD...
War carries a heavy burden upon our Veterans...to live with war inside must carry a heavy load. I ask those who are from other countries who may be reading this, to do your best to not be angry at our Veterans, at our government and those who profit from war, yes. But, these young men and women realize so much once they have seen the destruction, the dying, the killing, and who knows what more they must carry within...
I thank you for reading my simple words, and unfortunately this was the best I could do in research, but I will post some links if you care to read further. Once again, I say, may we all have peace...
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
http://www.endhomelessness.org/library/entry/fact-sheet-veteran-homelessness
http://www.militarytimes.com/story/military/pentagon/2015/03/31/suicides-military-2014/70735040/
http://www.globalresearch.ca/why-america-needs-war/5328631
A great resource: Iraqi Veterans Against the War:
www.ivaw.org
A great resource: Iraqi Veterans Against the War:
www.ivaw.org
Musical Selection: Homeless Veteran PTSD Song: "I'm Not Home
https://youtu.be/zekytHlCo7Y
There are also some amazing phone numbers to call if you are in need. This number is if you are in need at any moment for PTSD, Suicide prevention, or if you need someone to talk with:
Veterans Crisis Line-1-800-273-8255
This number is for non-serving Veterans, The Veteran's Center
1-877-927-8387
If you are currently serving, your post is for yourself and for family members
Any VA Center in your area for yourself or for family members for we suffer too...
REMEMBER, REACH OUT. IT TAKES GREAT STRENGTH TO KNOW YOU NEED HELP AND THEN TO ASK FOR IT.
I HONOR YOU ALL.
IN PEACE AND LOVE...
Paz y Amor...Maria
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
There are also some amazing phone numbers to call if you are in need. This number is if you are in need at any moment for PTSD, Suicide prevention, or if you need someone to talk with:
Veterans Crisis Line-1-800-273-8255
This number is for non-serving Veterans, The Veteran's Center
1-877-927-8387
If you are currently serving, your post is for yourself and for family members
Any VA Center in your area for yourself or for family members for we suffer too...
REMEMBER, REACH OUT. IT TAKES GREAT STRENGTH TO KNOW YOU NEED HELP AND THEN TO ASK FOR IT.
I HONOR YOU ALL.
IN PEACE AND LOVE...
Paz y Amor...Maria
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
So What Does War Accomplish...?
Death, destruction, young men and women off to fight for "freedom"...to hoard resources for the powers that be, and kill those who get in our way, no matter if they are women and children...
I honor our Veterans highly, but the ugly and dirty filth behind war is a path deviated from our true human nature...war is FEAR...war is GREED...
We are supposed to be civilized...and it is the "so called" civilized countries that inflict this horror called WAR...
Countries are unrecognizable, countries are torn to shreds, arms are given to "militants" to fight whose side...?
War is pure insanity...no other words for it in my mind and heart...
Propaganda tells us who are bad and who are good...
Yet the "good" are arming and training the "bad"...
A stamp with USA, and other western powers, send the jets, send the bombs, send the drones, send the arms, all to control a country, to throw a coup, to control what they want...ALL NAMED IN THE NAME OF DEMOCRACY...
FREEDOM...
Yes, those who stand up against the tyranny and fight the oppression, these are the ones who are truly fighting for FREEDOM
When will we realize and open our eyes...
What will we do to make it stop...
One is working at their desk, while someone has just been blown apart by bomb dropped by a drone...a child, a beautiful innocent child who deserves the same life that your children do...
What are you going to do, and when are you going to ask the question, "So what does war accomplish?
"I have my job, my house, my family...life is good..." One says to themselves...
But it is NOT GOOD FOR ALL...
This is a simple writing from my heart and from my anger. I really want to write a piece with statistics. I used to be a very good researcher...until brain injury, but I will write it and I will write it soon for the world cannot wait...
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
Musical Selection:
The Night Watch Man (Tom Morello) "The Road I must Travel
https://youtu.be/yrBfPLUm5so
May humanity one day turn to peace...
The Night Watch Man (Tom Morello) "The Road I must Travel
https://youtu.be/yrBfPLUm5so
May humanity one day turn to peace...
This Heavy Load...
Where to begin I just don't know...
I do know that I am so very tired...
So very tired...
Life has hit one too many punches upon me...
The zest that I once had for life seems to have all, but vanished...
I tried so hard to smile for this picture, but I just could not, even trying, I could not...
The emotion spoke louder than ability to try...
Concussions, surgery, recovery from surgery, epilepsy, lost of strength, the never ending road of seeing doctors...has taken its toll
I feel that I do not even look the same as I did, just a few two short years ago...
My sons are thousands of miles away...thousands...
My heartbreak is immeasurable, but I am always told to "stay strong"
If I had many people around me, to love and support me...I possibly could stay stronger...
It is rather difficult to do this "strong thing" alone...
Especially, if you have had to do it, time, and time again...
Crying tears upon your pillow alone, walking down the streets alone, recalling all those memories alone, is a bit rough upon the soul...
Sometimes, I feel as if I have no fight left within me...none at all
Like tonight...
This is why I write...to all of you
I will not fool myself that this will be an easy comeback, and the tears that I cry for my sons are tears that are of the deepest love, and they will not go away...
But I reminded myself tonight, that I can pull through this, and become that strong Maria once again...
I remember when I broke my foot due to a cycling accident, and by the way, the last cycling accident, for I had had one too many, and the doctor took my bicycle driving licence away from me...(;
Each day with my little foot in a cast I would get up and I would walk one block for about a week...
The next I would walk two blocks...
The next I would walk three blocks...
Until I could walk as many blocks as I could...
That is a great story for me to remember...
So each morning, I shall wake...
I will walk around the block...
The next week it will be two blocks...
The next week it will be three blocks...
Until I will be able to walk as many blocks as I can, and this, is what will build my physical strength...
Physical strength builds heart strength...
Heart strength builds soul strength...
"And soon I'll be walkin' out the dooooor...
"By putting one foot in front of the other..."
Simple, but fantastic words to live by...
So, if you don't mind everyone, I will dedicate this post to myself, for I have fought many a battle, and I keep coming out strong. I know that there will be more to come, but with simple words and simple faith...we can all make it out the door...:)
Great things can be achieved by just the very first step...
I send my love to everyone, and if you too, are experiencing a heavy load, I do hope that my simple words bring you some comfort and love.
My love to all of you
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
Musical Selection: "Maria Maria"
By Carlos Santana feat. The Product G & B
https://youtu.be/nPLV7lGbmT4
ENJOY!!!!!
Remember please, never to take anything in your life for granted. Life is change. What you once had is now gone. What you now have could go away. So love all those around you and if it is you, love you, every ounce. Love life, people and not material pleasures or pleasure that lasts only a moment. Life is to precious...
Remember please, never to take anything in your life for granted. Life is change. What you once had is now gone. What you now have could go away. So love all those around you and if it is you, love you, every ounce. Love life, people and not material pleasures or pleasure that lasts only a moment. Life is to precious...
Great Love and Great Sadness...
A True Story...
Many a wind has passed through the timeless village of San Blas, many a day of beauty, of trade, and many of great sadness over hundreds of years...this story, or at least the beginning of, just over a short fifty years ago.
A most beautiful young woman, Rebeca Méndez jímenez, as she was serving savory, local fish to foreign arrivers of trade, met the dark eyes of Manuel; a flame of love was born in this pier of low lying rain forest in San Blas, Nayarit, Mexico.
Brief
was the treasured time that this love affair could bloom. Yet,
intensely and passionately it not only bloomed, it blossomed. Manuel
gave a promise of marriage and of return to the sweet Rebeca. His ship
was to sail the next day to come.
Twenty-four
hours Rebeca and Manuel savored one another until the very moment of
his departure. Manuel waved his last goodbye from his ship, only to
leave the lovely Rebeca with memories and her tears...
Rebeca,
at that moment swore within her shattered heart, that she would have no
other and that she would wait for Manual to fulfill his promise to her.
As each lonely day came and left as the waves, Rebeca walked the
beautiful comfort the blue waters of the Pacific Ocean would give to
her; she, with her faithful spirit, longed painfully as she would wait
for her betrothed's ship to return to the pier of San Blas.
Many
longful day passed, the hurting soul that was now Rebeca, began to
walk the pier wearing her white, pure as the purest snow, wedding gown,
and carrying a sweet, small bouquet of flowers ...everyday. As people
do, the love to talk of another's tragedy occurs. The villagers of
sleepy San Blas named Rebeca, "La loca de la muelle," "the crazy woman
of the pier.
Rebeca
and her daily ritual of her walking, now passed into years. Her skin
was no longer the same, yet her tears, her deep pain, and her intense
sadness had not altered. She remained faithful to her love Manuel, who
so sadly never returned to her ever loving arms.
On
one particular, very solemn day, the evermore beautiful Rebeca, in
faded wedding gown, walked into the ocean that she so profoundly loved,
perhaps more than her Manuel, she walked until the sea took her with it
forever with caring, gentle, and loving waves. Rebeca, Manuel, and the
sea were joined by eternity...Maria Juarez Beam, a true, timeless story
from the timeless San Blas.
I have had the great privilege of going to San Blas over 20 years ago. It is ever so lovely and so charming. It has a captivation quality that has remained within in my heart these past 20 years. I do hope to return this January.
I am writing this tonight for all of Mexico, but for especially this incredibly special place of San Blas for it was to bit hit seriously by hurricane Patricia. Miraculously, at landfall the hurricane did not do the damage it was anticipated to have done. I am so very happy. (:
The song I have chosen for this piece is
"En el Muelle de San Blas" by Mana
It song form it tells the story of mainly Rebecca. It is one of my favorite songs.
https://youtu.be/teprNzF6J1I
With my love always,
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
Be loved and loved well...
A Letter of Love to my Sons...
Tonight I write to you a letter of such deep love...so deep that no meter could ever measure its depth...
Could ever measure its purity...
Could ever measure its power...its strength...
There are no words nor deeds that could ever break the immensity of love I have for you both...
My boys...my sons...my beautiful, beautiful boys...
I remember so well the days I last laid my eyes upon each one of you...
These are memories that are well kept within my heart full of so much love...
Many years have passed since I last saw your precious faces...
Many years have passed since I was able to take these arms of love and wrap them around you both...
Many years have passed since we last said face to face "I love you mom"..."I love you my son..."
I see you both so well, as if you never left to say goodbye...
And now I must say goodbye all over again...
For you are now both are going to be so far away...
So everyday you will receive into your hearts a package...a package with love beyond the stars...you will receive a huge hug, your will get a kiss on your cheek...and best of all...the words I LOVE YOU WILL POP RIGHT OUT...and I will throw a smile in there too!!!
And, if you ever need more than the package...find a tree...
Yes, you two know your mother so very well and you know that I cry when I am missing you so...
It is only human you see...
I am not perfect...but my love is...
My love that is always there for you...
My most beautiful, beautiful sons...I love you...
I miss you...
I pray for you every night...
And, when you do finally come home...remember I am here with wide open arms...
And in the window there will always be a light...
Waiting for you both...
I love you my most beautiful sons...take very good care, and remember I always believe in you...
Love, your mama
The most amazing love anybody can get in this world, is love coming from her sons...
--unknown
--unknown
"Weep said Athos, weep, heart full of love, youth, and life! Alas, would I could weep like you"
--Alexander Dumas
Musical Selection: Il Divo & Celine Dion, "I believe in You"
https://youtu.be/ce8HZ2keKwk
Baptism by Fire...
And perhaps many days leading up to this fire of baptism...
I am writing, and it is all coming, straight from my heart...
I had the words earlier all within my head as I was burning and being transformed...
Yet, now the words are all anew...
It all began earlier today, my Parish priest came to give me a blessing for my upcoming surgery and to give The Anointing of the Sick...
This is not a religious writing I assure you...
Yet, it all began with my time with Father Eddie...
He gave me some Holy Water in the palm of my hand and had me splash it upon myself to remind me of the day I was baptized as an infant...
It had a profound effect upon me...
And this effect carried me through my entire day...
It was hot today, which is unusual for the San Francisco Bay Area...it has been rather warm/hot...
Much walking, I needed to do, and as I was walking I thought of so many things...my mind was bursting in pensivity...
My brain was hot, my body was hot...yet, walking I kept on...
The sun was so strong upon my head and I had forgotten my hat...
I realized that in the last several years, that the sun has become so intense...
The concrete and the asphalt were raising heat from feet up through my entire body, and up to my brain...WOW!!!
I was being baptized by FIRE!!!...
(How anyone cannot face the fact that our climate is truly changing...well, needs a serious baptisim by very intense fire...)
Cars drive by so fast, everyone seems to be in their own world...their own self...
I wondered do they think of what is happening on this planet...would they care if they did???
I could see so much self-absorption...
I don't want this to be my world...never have...
My eyes and my thoughts absorbed everything...
My water bottle became my salvation for I used most of the water to cool me down...so baptism by fire and water, water and fire..
Yet, somehow, today I became truly transformed and truly free...
The fire burned within me and without...
New passion was born...nothing holding back of who I am, and what I believe is right to stand for, and to fight for...
Heat is an element that transforms, that molds, that makes anew out of what was old...
So watch out world...I have had my fire by baptism and there is no stopping me, in heart, and in my passion, for what I know is right...
I am a woman reborn...I am Pele, the beautiful Hawaiian Goddess of Fire and Transformation...
I thank you all for reading...you all mean so very much to me.
I am going to write as much as I can before Friday, August 28th, 2015. For I will be healing for a while. You will all be with me. I send so much love to all.
Paz y amor, Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
Musical Selection is: R. Kelly "I believe I can Fly"
https://youtu.be/GIQn8pab8Vc
https://youtu.be/GIQn8pab8Vc
ENJOY!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Be not afraid I go before you always lyrics.
MAY THIS SONG GUIDE AND BLESS YOU. I LOVE IT, IT IS SO VERY BEAUTIFUL...
-
One of the most powerful and haunting songs I have ever heard about Palestine. Djamy Ross, sings with such conviction and intensity, that on...
-
I recently discovered something about me... I am not quite not ready to let love in again... This is a healthy thing indeed... As many of yo... -
WE ALL NEED HEALING I decided, that since, I am writing about war and my personal experience right now, that I would add this healing music... -
Thank you Tupac Shakur for your music and your words during your short time on this planet... Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)
-
This has got to be one of the best songs, "Love Train" by the O´Jays, that came out, of the 70´s Disco Era, and there are sooooo m...
-
Frozen in Time It seems that all little boys... Play with their toy guns... Whether it is store bought... Or a stick, that for them, is jus... -
I just have to share this video with all of you, my most beloved readers...I have been pretty sad all day and I ran across this video of &q...
-
There was a time when this wondrous human being walked this earth. He was a great inspiration for so many. He still remains an inspiration. ...
-
For my Spanish speaking audience. Para mi audiencia de habla español. Muchas gracias... Con paz y amor, Maria -
First, to note, I have been writing a series about war, but I am going to steer away temporarily. I find it necessary for my soul to do so ...
