Come Sail Away Lyrics Styx/ An Illusion of Me...

I am only an illusion of me...

Of the woman that I used to be...

Not only the loss of love, romantic love...

But also loss of a life I once had...

I have radically changed over these past months...

I no longer feel as if I am heard from above...

I had so much faith and now it is so sad...

That my faith is just a faint ember left in the hearth...

My heart is so heavy with hope that feels lost...

This illusion of me that wonders and no longer sparks...

My sons...oh my sons why have you abandoned me...?

Why have you forgotten the mama that gave you so much love...?

We had so many good times that outweighed what was so sad...

I no longer can envision your sweet faces...

For I have not looked upon them for far too long...

My tears that flowed as a river...

Now only flow within...

For my tears have dried...

There are no more tears to cry...

Only those that lie inside...

The life I envisioned for myself...

My husband at my side...

My children, my grandchildren...

Family and friends...

Are only jars of dreams...

That are dusty upon a shelf...

I had so much strength and joy before...

And now it is fading with each day that passes...

That illusion of me is just that...an illusion...

What in this life has for me in store...

I do not know and I no longer dream or hope...

For a life I would like to have...

I have all the material comforts that life can give...

But, this is not what makes life real...

I am starving for what brings joy...

I am starving for what makes one really live...

So, I listened to this song of my High School days...

And, remembered so many great times...

So, I want to sail away...

I want to be my captain...

I want to find new shores...

That will make a transformation happen...

To bring me back to a sense of peace and joy...

A sense of purpose...a sense of being needed...

So, I say ships ahoy...

I will climb aboard to sail the seas...

And bring back...not an illusion...

But, the real of me...

Sending to all great love and affection,

Maria Joan Juarez Beam

Thank you for reading...