As the golden hills prepare for the coming rain...
September, still golden, awaits for the promise of renewal...
And, sometimes, for some people, that renewal lies awaiting...
Waiting for the rain to drench away all the pain...
I am still awaiting for that day to come...
I said, that I would begin to write about war...
This is my beginning...
It is not the end...
I have stated, that the ending of war is my mission in life...
It has been for a very, very long time...
And, as we all, very well know, I have not been successful...
But, I shall not be deterred...I keep my mission alive...
I nearly titled this, "The Tears are Running Down My Cheeks...But I Can No Longer Feel Them...
Then, I watched the video to this song, and I felt those tears again...
My own personal experience with war...
Begins in my heart...began in my home...
The day that my only two children, my sons...
Said, "mom, I know what I am going to do with my life..."
They both joined the United States Armed Forces...
I am not much different from the young girl in the video...
With the exception, that I am the mother, and not the girlfriend...
Yet, it hits just as hard...if not harder for a mother...
A mother, since she was a young girl, knew that war was wrong...
Wore her hippie skirts and always stopped the fights at school...
The woman, who marched in the streets, countless times, before the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq...
When her boys were only young...
She did not want hers, nor any others, to go off, and fight another, senseless war...
Still, nearly 20 years later...we are there...
My children have been there...
September, never ends for me because...
Since the day my boys left...
I have still yet to see their faces...
The faces of the ones I loved so much...
That I nursed...
That I read to at night every night...
That I walked to school...
That made sure they had all I could give...
And, many of their years, I did it on my own...
I question myself all the time...
Why? What could I have done to prevent this...?
My husband died while they were young...
So, I used to say it was because of this...
Yet, ten years later, with no communication for so long...
It must have been me...
So, I begin my series on war with me...
With the pain, that I live with, every single second, of my life...
With every breath from my body...
With every tear, that I can now feel, running down my cheek...
Thank you for allowing me to share,
Maria Joan Juarez Hidalgo Beam (Boheme)
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