Beam The Light Be The Change: The Tears that No One Sees...
Beam The Light Be The Change: The Tears that No One Sees...: There are many reasons for one to shed "silent" tears... Some are for the weariness and loss over so many years... Othe...
The Tears that No One Sees...
Some are for the
weariness and loss over so many years...
Love unrequited...
Sacrifices made...
Dreams that fade...
Visions never united...
Missing ones children...
Missing love...
Others are for the feeling of deep loneliness and the feeling of being in the abyss...
Being in the abyss can feel quite frightening and for me, tonight, came on quite suddenly...
Perhaps this why the color blue is associated with tears for it is what makes them feel so true...
I could attempt to explain each tear I am shedding, yet if so, I would be here all night sharing each tear with you with all my might...
I shall keep this somewhat short and bittersweet...
There is such a dichotomy in crying, I believe, for in order to keep one's head up and strong, the tears must come...we must weep...
I believe deep humanness, compassion, and strength come from the humbleness of being able to simply cry...there is no shame...there is no blame...I feel it is a fire of passion...
And for me passion is life...is beauty, is love...
I do also believe that Angels must cry, for how could they not in order to maintain being the magic of an Angel...?
If you do not cry...I am certain an Angel is crying for you...to keep you human...
So now, it has come for the time for me to finish my story of tears...mine have now dried away, for I feel sharing with you, that by shedding, my tears has helped them become now part of the atmosphere...a part of you and I...
Do not fear your tears...allow them to flow....
It is not a sign of weakness, but a show of strength...
“Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was better after I had cried, than before--more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.”
― Charles Dickens, Great Expectations
“But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more.”
― Hans Christian Andersen, The Little Mermaid
“Don't be ashamed to weep; 'tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”
― Brian Jacques, Taggerung
Quotes courtesy of goodreads.com
Suggested Musical Selection: "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"...The Beatles
https://youtu.be/VJDJs9dumZI
I thank all of my beloved readers for reading once again the heart of Maria...My love to you all.
This post is especially dedicated to "Jessica."
Thank you with all of my heart
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
May Day...A Worker's Day of Rights and Struggles
Labor Unions were beginning to organize and fight for the rights of hard working men and women, mainly new immigrants who were always the new low-wage supply of workers for companies and corporations. This was certainly just as true on May 1st, 1886 as it is today, Unions and "the people" organizing are, and were, a threat to the powers that be.
A large riot broke out in Chicago with a bomb being thrown at the crowd, many were killed, including woman and children. Police and proletarians were also among those wounded and killed. At this time Union Organizers were generally considered Anarchists and Communists, very bad words in our country. Yet, if one were to read the works of Karl Marx and the Communist Manifesto with an open mind, I believe, many would see Socialism and Communism in a different light.
I shall also take this moment with you to honor my great-grandfather and my father who were both labor union leaders. My grandfather was in very dangerous times to be as such, especially in the state of Kansas. He was a business agent and an organizer for the Plaster and Cement Masons, just as my father. I feel my grandfather to have been of the greatest courage to be a fighter of worker's rights in turmoil times.
My father, as well faced some harrowing times. He had his arms broken on a picket line and he was pushed down several flights of stairs in San Francisco, CA working as a Union Local President. My father was in the Union for just over 60 years, and the impact this had upon my life, was enormous. My father and my grandfather taught me humbleness, yet also to stand up for the oppressed. I am incredibly proud of this heritage.
I ask you, my readers, if you will to take the day to honor the rights of all worker's around the world for this now has become a day around the globe to such honor.
There are still fights to be fought and won, for so many worker's rights have been stripped...I know that I shall always stand up proudly, and declare that I will not accept oppression.
Happy May Day to all and I thank you for reading as always,
Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
http://www.revcom.us/a/may1/haymark.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haymarket_affair
Selected Song: "There is Power in a Union" Billy Brag
http://youtu.be/DwbzxemJZIc
My Mama and Summing Up the Ancestors
It has taken me a long while to mourn her and I finally feel as if I have truly made a deep shift of her having left this earth. My grieving has been intense for I was not only grieving her, I have been grieving my father, my husband, and the fact that my two children, my sons are now flying their own wings in this life. I am sure they are figuring out what they are all about...as they are so far away from me.
I sprouted wings while she was alive, but I never was far and she and I were so very close. I felt the need to be by her. She was of great comfort and full of wisdom when I needed it. She was a beautiful and loving grandmother.
Yet, now...Maria is all on her own, truly now
discovering her own wings.
Well, what does all of this have to do with summing up the ancestors you may be asking? I shall share...
The other night I was watching "La Amistad." If you have not seen this movie, I highly recommend it. There are Mende slaves that were captured off the East Coast of what encompossed the North and the South of the United States at that time and they are imprisoned. They had successfully overtaken the ship and left two men alive to get them back to Africa.
At this time, in the North and the South of what would become, the United States one could only buy a slave that had already been on a plantation, for example from Cuba. The case was successfully tried and won in the two lower courts by an unknown yet successful attorney at law. Because it was an election year the President at that time Martin Van Buren was persuaded to take the case to the highest court in the land, the Supreme Court. John Quincy Adams was at last willing to take on the case.
Cinque, the leader of the captured slaves, is stunning, all feel now that all is lost and they will be hanged. Cinque felt differently for he expressed to the former President Adams that he will summon his ancestors and they must come to help. It their duty and they are the reason that he is alive.
Watching this movie again was a huge turning point for me in my current life. I have been summing up my ancestors in Mexico for I have traveled their three times since everyone has left. Twice to the land of my mother's ancestors. I even buried some of my parent's ashes there.
On my grandmother's side I have Otomi Indian blood. I also come from a very strong line of revolutionaries, Don Miguel Hidalgo, the most famous person in Mexican history, for he led the independence against Spain. He was humble, brave, a priest, and desired all to be free. My grandmother's father fought in the revolution which began in 1910.
I feel that now my mother and my ancestors have been with me as I have struggled with my grief and the redefining of who is Maria.
"
I thank all of my beloved readers for your reading of my writings. You are with me in my heart...
I do highly suggest the movie "La Amistad."
Musical Selection: "Vuele Libre Paloma" by Mana.
http://youtu.be/2RdGZ0puskQ
The lead singer of Mana wrote this song after his mother passed away.
Love and peace to all...Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
Honoring Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr
I am going to write some of my personal thoughts before you get to the speech. I was privileged to have been born in 1960 in the San Francisco Bay Area. Although I was only seven when Dr. King was killed. He, and the Civil Rights Movement are with me so vividly. The San Francisco Bay area has always been a great place of impetus for change. I lived very near Oakland, CA, USA and the fruition of the Black Panthers and the Black Power Movement.
I always remember my parents always talking talking so fondly of Dr. King and of his wife, Correta. My mother and my father were great teachers in regard to not seeing the skin color of a person, only simply the person. I was blessed by this.
We would sit around our television and watch Dr. King's heart throbbing speeches.
The speech that he gave at the Church of God in Christ was so powerful, I feel much of it came straight from his soul that it could only bring one to tears. I was at the age of seven.
You can imagine our sadness and shock upon hearing he had been shot on the balcony of his humble hotel at 6:01, April 4, 1968. The very next evening. I think we simply could not speak. We cried, but words were left inside, perhaps due to to the pure shock. Yet, the beauty is that this man lived, breathed, and walked the earth with great courage and humbleness. We as a world were given a gift with his presence upon our planet.
I am going to put an excerpt from the speech. Towards the very end of his speech there is a part of him that seems to know that something was going to happen to him for he states, "I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!..."
Without further ado, here is the last half of Dr. Martin Luther King's last speech. Reading this half in it's entirety you will learn much. The end is purely beautiful...
..."You know, several years ago, I was in New York City autographing the first book that I had written. And while sitting there autographing books, a demented black woman came up. The only question I heard from her was, "Are you Martin Luther King?" And I was looking down writing, and I said, "Yes." And the next minute I felt something beating on my chest. Before I knew it I had been stabbed by this demented woman. I was rushed to Harlem Hospital. It was a dark Saturday afternoon. And that blade had gone through, and the X-rays revealed that the tip of the blade was on the edge of my aorta, the main artery. And once that's punctured, your drowned in your own blood -- that's the end of you.
It came out in the New York Times the next morning, that if I had merely sneezed, I would have died. Well, about four days later, they allowed me, after the operation, after my chest had been opened, and the blade had been taken out, to move around in the wheel chair in the hospital. They allowed me to read some of the mail that came in, and from all over the states and the world, kind letters came in. I read a few, but one of them I will never forget. I had received one from the President and the Vice-President. I've forgotten what those telegrams said. I'd received a visit and a letter from the Governor of New York, but I've forgotten what that letter said. But there was another letter that came from a little girl, a young girl who was a student at the White Plains High School. And I looked at that letter, and I'll never forget it. It said simply,
Dear Dr. King,
I am a ninth-grade student at the White Plains High School."
And she said,
While it should not matter, I would like to mention that I'm a white girl. I read in the paper of your misfortune, and of your suffering. And I read that if you had sneezed, you would have died. And I'm simply writing you to say that I'm so happy that you didn't sneeze.
And I want to say tonight -- I want to say tonight that I too am happy that I didn't sneeze. Because if I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been around here in 1960, when students all over the South started sitting-in at lunch counters. And I knew that as they were sitting in, they were really standing up for the best in the American dream, and taking the whole nation back to those great wells of democracy which were dug deep by the Founding Fathers in the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.
If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been around here in 1961, when we decided to take a ride for freedom and ended segregation in inter-state travel.
If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been around here in 1962, when Negroes in Albany, Georgia, decided to straighten their backs up. And whenever men and women straighten their backs up, they are going somewhere, because a man can't ride your back unless it is bent.
If I had sneezed -- If I had sneezed I wouldn't have been here in 1963, when the black people of Birmingham, Alabama, aroused the conscience of this nation, and brought into being the Civil Rights Bill.
If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have had a chance later that year, in August, to try to tell America about a dream that I had had.
If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been down in Selma, Alabama, to see the great Movement there.
If I had sneezed, I wouldn't have been in Memphis to see a community rally around those brothers and sisters who are suffering.
I'm so happy that I didn't sneeze.
And they were telling me --. Now, it doesn't matter, now. It really doesn't matter what happens now. I left Atlanta this morning, and as we got started on the plane, there were six of us. The pilot said over the public address system, "We are sorry for the delay, but we have Dr. Martin Luther King on the plane. And to be sure that all of the bags were checked, and to be sure that nothing would be wrong with on the plane, we had to check out everything carefully. And we've had the plane protected and guarded all night."
And then I got into Memphis. And some began to say the threats, or talk about the threats that were out. What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers?
Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop.
And I don't mind.
Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!
And so I'm happy, tonight.
I'm not worried about anything.
I'm not fearing any man!
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!!"
Thank you to: http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkivebeentothemountaintop.htm
There is so much more that one could write about this great man that it would take up a full blog.
Just a bit more Civil Rights history:
Dr. King was a Nobel Peace Prize winner
The Civil Rights Act of 1964 was signed by President Lydon B. Johnson
President Harry Truman integrates African American into the military in 1948.
Rosa Parks refuses to give up her bus seat near the front in 1955.
There was the African American Civil Rights Movement from 1896-1954
And The African American Civil Rights Movement from 1955-1968
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Quotes thanks to:
http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/m/martin_luther_king_jr.html#kajDOieMAo2KTAti.99
Musical Selection: "Martin Luther King Jr. Song" Theresa Orlando
It is wonderful...enjoy.
Sources: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Martin_Luther_King,_Jr.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/African-American_Civil_Rights_Movement_(1955%E2%80%9368)
Thank you all so very much for reading and honoring Dr. King today. All my love, Maria Juarez Beam (Boheme)
A Friendship is Golden...
Today, I had the blessing and privilege of spending possibly the last hours with a dear friend of my heart. His respirator was removed today, although, he was breathing on his own, and I, nor his family know how long this will continue. Yet, the one fact we do know, is that he is "brain dead."
I love this man with all of my heart and soul and his beloved family. Although, I had not seen him in over a year, nonetheless, he remained with me and within me. Sometimes, we do not realize how much a person is within us until the shadow of death is upon the doorstep.
Our lives become consumed with work, family, health issues, the business of our modern lifestyle, or simply, we haven't reached out. For many it is not for lack of loving or caring...it is perhaps, just lack of remembering that remembering friendships, no matter what has passed between you in the past or what is going on in our present, that our dear and deep friendships are precious...vital. They are so, not only for our friends, but for ourselves as well.
Friends feed our soul, feed our lives. Friends can keep us from being a slave to the current technology and from some mindless television. There is nothing more golden than family and FRIENDS who truly are family within this whole realm of life. I believe with all of my quivering being that our Universal Creator intended this...connection, love, family, and our beloved friends. If you can reach out to a friend you have not spoken with in a while, please do. I know, I am going to begin to make this a priority, for I have not been reaching out to many. Today, as I kissed my golden friend goodbye, I made this promise in my heart...reaching out.
All my love dear readers and friends.
Maria Juarez Boheme Beam
Musical Selection: "You've Got a Friend" by James Taylor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WJ1cf3nrLE
Thank you for reading...I dedicate this post and song to my dear friend Brian.
A Heart in the Desert
With miles of sand and rock
To which into your heart are insert
The desert is a beautiful and amazing place.
Full of life and stars a plenty in the night.
Yet, if alone there are no people within your space.
The heart can feel so cold and away from inside yourself.
Snow falls upon the heart that is wandering the desert alone.
The tears turn into snowflakes searching for the shelf.
The shelf of a life it once knew...and cannot forget.
It is a heavy heart pushing through life daily.
This heart desires so to be re-lit.
By the fires of life, of love, of beauty.
By beauty and love...
Sometimes, oft times the heart needs time to heal, to mend.
Losses, so many losses to endure and one day the heart shall soar as a dove.
When that shall be I am not certain.
I sit with this heart and do what I can to mend whilst it is in the desert.
Waiting for it to comeback to its place and I can finally pull back the curtain.
Maria Juarez Beam
Musical Selection: "Como te Extrano Corazon" by Mana
http://youtu.be/lnFn-nCk6rE
This poem and song is dedicated to Brian Ross Bradley, my husband 1959-2003
My mother, Guadalupe Landeros Hidalgo Beam, 1929-2007
My father, Robert Terrance Beam, 1930-2009
My son Preston
My son Alexander
I love and miss all of you, hearts of mine...
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