WOW! I am struck...I now know why my mother wanted me to go Guanajuato, Mexico, the land of my grandparents and my ancestors; to save me from my heartbreak and from my bleeding soul. Yes, the soul does bleed and when it does, I truly believe it can take you to your grave. My mother, my Guanajuato, my Mexico and all of it's splendor saved my life.
I may not be able to finish this writing tonight for I am low on battery power, but I knew I needed to allow this river of words within me...begin to flow. A body can fall apart and if you have read much of my writing, you well know that I have had my share of this. Yet, what I now know, is that my intense heartache, which led to a soul soaked and dripping in blood is what truly needed to bathed in the healing waters of salvation.
One of the most impactful stories that my mother told me was the story of Mario Lanza, a famous opera tenor and an actor in the 1940's & 50's. I remember intensely her asking me if I felt that anyone could die from a broken heart. I needed to pensively allow this question to enter my mind, my heart, and my soul. As a young girl, I certainly had experienced heart break...I answered her with a "yes, mom, I do believe so. She then explained the intense love Mario had for his wife, she died and then he died from his immense pain within his heart...this was so very powerful for me to hear and has never left me. I often wonder as to why my mother felt the need to share this with me at such a young age. A mother, a good mother, can sense what type of child she has and she will do all she can to guide her path...even after their death.
Mama, I love you so much. I miss you, but you are within me as a guiding and a protecting light full of love for your daughter. I thank you my mama...
I do have more to write, but need to stop now and hopefully within the next few days I will find my charger.
All my light and love to you my most beloved readers, Maria
Maria Juarez Beam
Boheme
